Down and out in Equestria
by Piks3l
Summary: Ponies assume that when you seem to work, you must have a home, a family or friends to help you out. It isn't always true. Despite this pinky-happy-everlasting-peace roaming around this country, there are sad and lonely people. I am one of them. Magic of Friendship? Shut up. Bonkers.


**Disclaimer :** hello everypony ! I was bored while studying for my English exam so I decided to write this fic to train a bit. It somehow inspired also by Orwell's first book "Down and out in Paris and London". If you haven't read it yet, well, do it. I don't really now where this is going. I have some ideas but as it started more as a joke, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. But now it's quite dark and taking the long way. So, we will see.

Have a nice reading ! :)

* * *

**1**

"My story is the story of a being. Continuous present, it's now and just before and just after. I live continually in the present. There are reasons for that but are they important? Not really. I live because I have no choice. I'm not sure if I was, I had been or will I?

Continuous present, it's being until contrary order. Well, let's just be.

My life was huge failure. I was hitting the streets with my would-be someone dreams and an old coat to keep me warm under the bridges of Manehattan. Poverty. You never foresee it hitting you. Actually yes but you prefer not to see it. Cutting the edges day by day until there is nothing left. And pop! You are begging some rich pony to give you some change so you can get coffee, cigarettes or just a small artificial dream.

There is something good about it, there always is. When you are down the urban hierarchical scale, sitting on the cold sidewalk, it's impossible to go deeper. It is finally the end. So, the only possibility is to go up. It is quite reassuring.

So this was my life. This is when I decided to become a magician. I called myself : _The great and powerful Trixie. _I put together some old wood planks to build a caravan and I started driving around Equestria making fairground shows for change. Nothing was so much different from my previous life: I was still sleeping outside in the cold unable to make a living. Ponies assume that when you seem to work, you must have a home, a family or friends to help you out. It isn't always true. Despite this pinky-happy-everlasting-peace roaming around this country, there are sad and lonely people. I am one of them. Magic of Friendship? Shut up. Bonkers.

When I arrived in Ponyville, I felt it. This so-called Magic of Friendship, how couldn't I? It was all around me, stuffing the air like exhaust fumes. There is nothing more terrible than watching people gathering around a fire and you being left alone. It's a metaphor but it's how I felt. I wanted ponies to care for me, to love me. Anything to pull their attention to myself.

It got dangerous. Ursa Major, I think you heard the story.

I left Ponyville ashamed, destroyed and alone again. The second time, I went there for revenge, to avenge what was left of my honor. Didn't work that much. I was fooled and beaten again by the your friends.

Now, you must wonder why I'm telling this to you, Twilight Sparkle."

—…

— We are very much alike, you know. I came in peace this time. No revenge, no grudge, nothing, I just came to speak with you. We had very different life style but as fillies we were almost the same. Both poor unicorns unable to comprehend the world and its complexities plus this everlasting fascination for magic.

— We are nothing alike, Trixie.

— Is that so? How were you before Celestia sent you to Ponyville to be her representative? Tell me. Did you had any friends. Even with Spike you were lonely. I know you can remember it: this rampant, dormant loneliness. Catching you up during the long evenings reading, while walking, while watching the other ponies laugh.

Twilight tried to move but she was tied to a chair with magic ropes. Trixie walked towards her.

— I am no asking for any money nor any retribution _Princess_ Twilight. I just want you to _understand_.

— You can't force me to.

— I know. I know you have a strong power within you, something I couldn't undermine even with thousand years of discourse. But this isn't my goal. I don't want to force you. I'll just project my life throughout your mind. You will feel every joy and every pain I've ever lived. It might be a bit painful during the process but don't worry, you'll recover very quickly.

At this moment, Trixie's horn started glooming and Twilight was hit by the memories of her arch-enemy. She screamed in pain and despair as all the thought were being implemented in her brain. It lasted a minute or so.

— So much… loneliness… was panting Twilight.

— Do you see ? Tell me you understand ! Was screaming Trixie.

— I… do.

At this moment, Twilight used a stunning spell on Trixie who fell on the ground. The alicorn used this time to untied herself and to run away.

Much time passed since this episode and no one heard again about Trixie. Ponyville didn't even realized the short disappearance of Twilight. Things continued to go like they always have been. Continuous present, nothing mattered as being happy was the only goal. Princess Celestia was ruling, Princess Twilight studying.

Being a princess takes a lot of time and it was getting harder and harder to see the girls lately. I was traveling most of the time between Canterlot and Ponyville unable to settle for a home in one of the cities. Canterlot was my future as a princess, where all the decisions are made. Princess Celestia was clear about that: if I wanted to be part of this country's political life I would need to stay as much as I could in Canterlot. But, on the other hand, Ponyville was my past and everything I cared for. I couldn't just delocalized myself leaving all my friends behind. Adding that I couldn't imagine Spike living away from Rarity. He would need to make a choice too. I can't take decisions upon him as I know he would choose to stay in Ponyville. He was as tired as me from all those journeys and started to get more messy than usual. I couldn't clean and order all the time neither did he. We needed to choose.

As expected Spike left me to become Rarity's personal assistant. This day was somehow weird, one side of him was bursting with joy, the other was destroyed. The girls made me a farewell party. We promised, without a lot of conviction (except maybe for Pinkie Pie) that we will try to stay in touch and visit each other as much as we could. It was very touching: balloons, cakes, music and games. But this all had some bitter taste, it wasn't a happy party even when all the village appeared at the station singing songs and all.

No one told me to stay, they all know I was living my dream: becoming a Princess, working along Celestia's policy making a more sustainable society, more magic, more peaceful.

My apartments were very big. Located near the Royal Library so I could study whenever I wanted. Days, months passed. The girls visited three or four times, I went twice back to Ponyville. Something changed, we had less and less to speak about. We were not being, we had been. Times flies and friendship seemed to fade away too.

I haven't moved of the Library for days. I liked this place: it was quiet and no one, no even Celestia or Luna was disturbing me. My life was perfect.

So alone.

It couldn't be. I erased Trixie's memories, I deleted everything, exterminate every single piece of her mind in mine. So why is it striking me now? I needed fresh air.

The night wasn't fresh, it was dark cold. Even the lights of Canterlot's streets were unable to brighten up the veil that was falling. Everything seemed more gloomy, more dark, more cold.

— Some change, for the poor.

I didn't noticed the voice, I didn't noticed it following me.

— Please, it's a cold night out there, please help me.

— No. Leave me alone.

The eyes of this poor pony started to shine, but this is also something I didn't noticed.

* * *

**Here it is for a first shot. No need to remind, English isn't my mother-language, so any correction or comments would be nice. My exam is in 9 hours, I hope it will go well. Thank you for the reading and see you for chapter 2 !**


End file.
